Image credit: D. Goska*
the beelzebub sonata
Nothing is absurd enough
to express the mystery of existence.
~ Stanislaw Witkacy
writer, painter, photographer, 1885-1939.
He leaves Warsaw gives up
pasting newspaper strips on the windows
as the government instructed
so the panes wouldn’t fall out
in Brześć another bombing raid
She is with him his last companion
they walk for days
stubble fields
gossamer threads their mouths
they sleep in a barn
in a village called Jeziory/Lakes
Is man a thinking reed
September 17
the news of the Soviet invasion
Is Satan only an artistic device
The next morning he says
“Today”
“Aren’t you going to shave”
“As you wish”
He shaves but doesn’t
put away his razor and soap
They eat breakfast
“Let’s go for a walk”
Far-off a rooster crows
a rising note
pierces the horizon
“I must do it now
while there still is Poland”
They sit under an oak
dissolve eighteen
Luminal tablets
in a mug of water
“You said you wouldn’t
marry me
unless under chloroform —
see, it’s under Luminal”
She drinks
he cuts his veins
swallows a stimulant
for a faster flow
She lies down
heather dazes into snow
“Don’t fall asleep yet
don’t leave me alone”
The loneliness of his many selves
his glass negatives
drugs and alcohol
abstinence too is a drug
“After you are asleep
I’ll cut my throat”
a horse-drawn cart rolls by
“Don’t fall asleep yet
if only the sun would shine”
They are found the next day
wet with the morning fog
acorns from the oak
have fallen on them
she is still alive
After she fell asleep he put
his jacket under her head
his blood as he leaned soaked through
the strap of her slip
~ Oriana%20Multiple%20self-portrait%20in%20mirrors%201915-1917.jpg)
Witkacy, Self-Portrait
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NEW YORK TIMES EDITORIAL ON RECENT DEVELOPMENTS THAT THREATEN FREE SPEECH
President Trump and his allies are capitalizing on the assassination of Charlie Kirk to open up fresh attacks on liberal institutions, donors and foundations. They seek to portray many on the left as traitors.
Appearing on Kirk’s podcast on Monday, less than a week after Kirk’s death, Stephen Miller, Trump’s deputy chief of staff, denounced
~ The organized doxxing campaigns, the organized riots, the organized street violence, the organized campaigns of dehumanization, vilification, posting people’s addresses, combining that with messaging that’s designed to trigger, incite violence in the actual organized cells that carry out and facilitate the violence. It is a vast domestic terror movement. ~
“With God as my witness,” Miller then declared,
We are going to use every resource we have at the Department of Justice, Homeland Security and throughout this government to identify, disrupt, dismantle and destroy these networks and make America safe again for the American people. It will happen, and we will do it in Charlie’s name.
Trump and his allies have long exploited “emergencies” to push divisive measures. Now he claims that left-wing terrorism is a greater threat than terror perpetrated by the right, a demonstrably false assertion.
Over the last three years, the Center for Strategic and International Studies, the Cato Institute and the International Center for Counter-Terrorism have amassed evidence showing that right-wing violence is more prevalent than violence from the left.
“The current administration is perpetuating a narrative that erases right-wing violence, including Jan. 6, and blames the increased political violence on only one side,” Jay Childers, a professor of political communication at the University of Kansas, wrote by email in response to my queries.
Within hours of the assassination of Kirk on Sept. 10, Trump placed the blame for political violence squarely on “the radical left” in televised remarks:
"A tragic consequence of demonizing those with whom you disagree, day after day, year after year, in the most hateful and despicable way possible, those on the radical left have compared wonderful Americans like Charlie to Nazis and the world’s worst mass murderers and criminals.
This kind of rhetoric is directly responsible for the terrorism that we’re seeing in our country today, and it must stop right now. My administration will find each and every one of those who contributed to this atrocity and to other political violence, including the organizations that fund it and support it, as well as those who go after our judges, law enforcement officials and everyone else who brings order to our country."
On Sept. 12, Trump went beyond dismissing the threat posed by right-wing political violence to arguing that right-wing extremists are in fact justified. Asked about violence perpetrated by those on the right, Trump didn’t hold back during an appearance on “Fox & Friends”:
I’ll tell you something that’s going to get me in trouble, but I couldn’t care less. The radicals on the right oftentimes are radical because they don’t want to see crime. They’re saying, “We don’t want these people coming in. We don’t want you burning our shopping centers. We don’t want you shooting our people in the middle of the street.”
The radicals on the left are the problem, and they’re vicious and they’re horrible and they’re politically savvy, although they want men in women’s sports, they want transgender for everyone. They want open borders.
Trump and his MAGA followers have not just turned Kirk’s murder into a political weapon; they are trying, with some success, to use it to build a national movement to publicly out everyone who criticized Kirk on social media after his death. They are also trying to persuade employers to fire Kirk’s critics.
“A campaign by public officials and others on the right has led just days after the conservative activist’s death to the firing or punishment of teachers, government workers, a TV pundit and the expectation of more dismissals coming,” The Associated Press reported on Sept. 14.
Sean Duffy, the secretary of transportation, the wire service noted, “posted that American Airlines had grounded pilots who he said were celebrating Kirk’s assassination. ‘This behavior is disgusting and they should be fired,’” Duffy wrote on X.
In their article “Trump Escalates Attacks on Political Opponents After Charlie Kirk’s Killing,” my Times colleagues Tyler Pager and Nick Corasaniti reported that Trump and his supporters have initiated “a broad crackdown on critics and left-leaning institutions.”
Pete Hegseth, the defense secretary, Pager and Corasaniti wrote, warned “that his agency was closely tracking any military personnel who celebrated or mocked Mr. Kirk’s death, and Christopher Landau, the deputy secretary of state, suggested the administration would strip visas from individuals who celebrated Mr. Kirk’s death.”
https://www.nytimes.com/2025/09/16/opinion/trump-charlie-kirk-crackdown.html?unlocked_article_code=1.mU8.Leca.7LTN-CXpdKKm&smid=fb-share
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September 18, 2025:
Late-night TV icon David Letterman publicly TRASHES Trump and Big Media for axing Jimmy Kimmel’s and Stephen Colbert’s shows in an obviously political attempt to muzzle Trump’s most prominent critics.
Speaking to The Atlantic’s Jeffery Goldberg, Letterman says "well, this is a misery. And in the world of somebody who is an authoritarian, maybe a dictatorship, sooner or later everyone is going to be touched. But this is me. For 30 years, I did this for a living. So I see this happen. They took care of Colbert. That was rude. That was inexcusable. The man deserves a great deal of credit. He's in the Hall of Fame nine times. And to be manipulated like that because the Ellison family didn't want to trouble Donald Trump with this move.”
“So they got rid of him,” continued Letterman. “ Not only got rid of him, got rid of the whole franchise. You're not going to have to worry about anything, Larry. It's all gone. It's fine. Good night. And then my good friend Jimmy Kimmel. I, you know, I just, I feel bad about this because we all see where this is going, correct? It's managed media. And it's no good. It's silly. It's ridiculous. And you can't go around firing somebody because you're fearful or trying to suck up to an authoritarian criminal administration in the Oval Office. That's just not how this works.”
He’s absolutely right. These big corporations need to stick by their talent, stick to their principles, and not just go firing people left and right just because the president tells them to! Jimmy Kimmel has been on the air for twenty-three years! Colbert was on the air for a decade! These are American icons being thrown straight into the trash at the behest of a would-be dictator, and it is beyond appalling to witness. ~ Facebook, 9/18/25
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Bret Stephens on Charlie Kirk:
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~ from the page of D. Goska
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FAR-RIGHT ORGANIZATIONS IN THE U.S. ARE USING CHARLIE KIRK TO RECRUIT NEW MEMBERS
‘Active clubs’ are capitalizing on assassination of far-right commentator to entice recruits with promises of vengeance
The same American-born neo-fascist fight clubs surging in numbers across the US and around the world, have capitalized on the assassination of the far-right commentator Charlie Kirk, to entice new recruits with promises of vengeance and racist camaraderie.
“Active clubs are exploiting the assassination of Charlie Kirk for recruitment purposes, specifically urging white men to join the movement,” said Joshua Fisher-Birch, a professional analyst who researches the far right. “In online posts, active clubs have also stated that the current environment presents an opportunity to expand the movement, claiming that regular people are receptive to their ‘radical message’.”
Heidi Beirich, the executive vice-president of Global Project Against Hate and Extremism (GPAHE) and a longtime expert of American white supremacists, agreed with Fisher-Birch.
“Kirk’s assassination has become a rallying cry for some of the most extreme elements in the US, meaning neo-Nazis and white supremacists,” she said. “We will likely see more of these pro-Kirk protests by extremists in the coming days.”
Not unlike the Maga disciples of the mainstream, active clubs immediately seized on Kirk’s murder as evidence of an “anti-White” and left-wing oppression campaign. Some have suggested the killing is the alleged work of a man who authorities have characterized as in a romantic relationship with a trans person – a frequent target of far-right scorn.
“You should watch the video of the blood gushing from his lifeless corpse when you make excuses not to join a nationalist org or when you skip the gym,” wrote a neo-Nazi Telegram account linked to active clubs, in a post viewed thousands of times by its followers. A meme spread by the same account shows a photo of Kirk holding a child with blood splatters in the background and the slogan: “The time for debating liberals is over.”
Several active clubs and far-right figures acknowledged in social media posts that though Kirk was no true friend to the neo-Nazi and an accused agent of the Israeli government, his work helped spread far-right ideas to the general public and his promotion of white supremacy should not go unappreciated.
“I wasn’t a Charlie Kirk follower, but I am a White American citizen,” wrote one southern California active club member, acknowledging their movement wasn’t in alignment with Kirk but sees his death as a major inflection point. “Don’t be that person who watches someone die alone, be the person who does good where you can and helps those in need.”
Responses from California active clubs, where membership appears to be one of the highest in the country, was notable.
“To be pro-White in any Western country is a justifiable reason to murder you and your family in the eyes of the Left,” wrote a chapter in northern California. “Every other political talking point regarding Charlie’s death is irrelevant.”
The post continued: “White man, the time has come to fight back. If you are not actively fighting back you are an active participant in our replacement.”
Over the weekend in Huntington Beach, active clubs marched with Patriot Front – another neo-fascist group founded in the aftermath of the deadly 2017 Unite the Right rally in Charlottesville, Virginia – in a demonstration commemorating Kirk and the slain Ukrainian refugee, Iryna Zarutska, whose tragic murder has also been capitalized on by the far right.
“There were definitely active club members in the protest march in Huntington Beach – Telegram channels carried images and videos of the march,” said Beirich. “Other white supremacists were there as well.”
Indeed, the Patriot Front account carried posts showing their members at the demonstration, noting they were in “attendance” with two active clubs.
“Patriot Front on the ground in Huntington Beach, California, at a vigil for Charlie Kirk and Iryna Zarutska, protesting the unsafe conditions in America brought on by the radical left and racial foreigners,” it said in the post. The groups chanted: “White men fight back.”
Taking their direct cues from the machismo promoted in the teachings of Adolf Hitler and the Third Reich, active clubs maintain the veneer of being community-oriented and upstanding citizens, but in reality are deeply racist and linked to hate groups. Their founder, Rob Rundo, is a prominent neo-Nazi and was a leader of a white supremacist street-fighting gang. He pleaded guilty in 2024 to conspiracy to riot at 2017 political rallies in California.
The active club model has been easily adopted into a range of global neo-fascist groups, with chapters everywhere from Australia to Finland and South America. GPAHE reports they have already appeared in 27 countries, along with burgeoning youth wings – modeled similarly to the Hitler Youth clubs seen in Germany during the 1930s.
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/sep/19/active-clubs-charlie-kirk-killing-new-members
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FREE-SPEECH ADVOCATES SUBJECTED TO INTIMIDATION
The backlash against “inappropriate” public comments made in the days following Charlie Kirk’s death has sparked a new wave of firings and suspensions, with a number of university employees disciplined for sharing their views.
It comes as some free speech advocates accuse Republicans of “intimidation tactics” and creating a “culture of fear” over the clampdown and using the response to the tragedy to stoke turmoil and inflame anger directed at their political opponents.
A campaign by figures on the political far-right to expose and punish those whose comments are deemed objectionable has reached extensively into college campuses around the country, with action taken against multiple faculty members and other employees for social media posts about the murdered rightwing activist.
It follows reports of teachers, firefighters, journalists, nurses, politicians, a Secret Service employee, a junior strategist at Nasdaq and a worker for a prominent NFL team, being censured in some form after publishing opinions on Kirk’s politics or death.
Numerous examples of campus actions were highlighted in an article published by Politico on Monday, including at universities in Tennessee, South Carolina and Mississippi.
Trustees at Clemson University were holding an emergency meeting on Monday after criticism from several senior Republicans, including a call from the party’s House judiciary caucus for its defunding.
Clemson announced on Saturday it was suspending one employee and investigating others for “inappropriate social media content”, and that officials will take “decisive and appropriate action” against perceived transgressors.
But the statement also noted that some free speech is protected under the first amendment and the university “remains committed to upholding the principles of the US constitution and the employment laws of the state of South Carolina”.
Clemson’s position drew ire from Republican South Carolina senator Lindsey Graham, who posted on Twitter/X: “Free speech doesn’t prevent you from being fired if you’re stupid and have poor judgement.”
At Florida Atlantic University, an art history professor was placed on leave after posting what officials called “repeated comments on social media … regarding the assassination of Charlie Kirk”.
But the professor, Karen Leader, told the Sun Sentinel that she “did not make comments about the ‘assassination,’ the murder of Charlie Kirk. I never mentioned it,” and had just reposted others’ critical commentary about Kirk’s politics, including his extremist positions on race, and gay and transgender rights.
“The FAU president’s posted statement about this is inaccurate. That is verifiable by viewing my feed,” she told the newspaper.
William Johnson, PEN America’s Florida director, said universities should “respond not with reflex or reprisal but with thought, principle, and restraint.”
He added: “Protecting free expression during times of crisis is not a luxury; it is a core responsibility of educational institutions in Florida and nationwide.”
Some commentators point to what they see as hypocrisy in action taken against workers by their employers given that Kirk was a self-declared advocate for freedom of expression.
“Charlie Kirk was a champion of free speech and anyone who says otherwise will be fired,” Judd Legum, editor of the progressive website Popular Information, said in a mocking post on X on Monday.
Free speech groups, meanwhile, have condemned efforts by far-right individuals, including Donald Trump political allies Steve Bannon and Laura Loomer, and Republican politicians such as South Carolina congresswoman Nancy Mace, to “doxx” people who have made uncomplimentary posts about Kirk.
Mace urged the public to send her tips about employees believed to be “celebrating” Kirk’s death and on Monday called for the education department to defund any educational establishment that “refuses to remove or discipline staff who glorify or justify political violence”.
The South Carolina chapter of the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) said the efforts amounted to “intimidation tactics” and a “targeted campaign of harassment” of teachers, professors and other public servants for “political statements published in their personal capacity”.
In a statement, the chapter’s legal director, Allen Chaney, said: “In the face of politicized and sometimes manufactured outrage, we call on school districts and university presidents to model the tolerance for upsetting speech that is demanded by the first amendment so that they might instill that firmly rooted American value in the next generation.”
Trump’s call for “vengeance and retribution” over Kirk’s death, instead of it being an opportunity for national healing and unity, has been echoed by far-right commentators seizing the chance to inflame tensions, other advocates believe.
JD Vance used an appearance as guest host of Kirk’s podcast Monday to assail those he said took joy from Kirk’s death.
“Charlie was gunned down in broad daylight, and well-funded institutions of the left lied about what he said so as to justify his murder,” the US vice-president said.
“This is soulless and evil, but I was struck not just by the dishonesty of the smear, but by the glee over a young husband’s and young father’s death.”
Kristen Shahverdian, program director for campus free speech at PEN America, said college administrators were overreaching.
“This pattern of knee-jerk dismissals raises concerns about institutions responding to political pressure and social media outrage instead of applying consistent standards that respect free speech and due process,” she said.
“These firings reverberate beyond the campus walls, creating a culture of fear across society at large. Universities should rebuke violent rhetoric and condemn offensive speech, but they should not impose blanket firings on protected speech.”
The ACLU and PEN America have both condemned political violence.
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/sep/15/charlie-kirk-death-university-firing-suspension
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“WE ARE ALL JIMMY KIMMEL”: WHAT LATE-NIGHT HOSTS ARE SAYING ABOUT KIMMEL’S SUSPENSION
Late night talk show hosts warned about the future of free speech in the U.S. on Thursday, a day after ABC pulled Jimmy Kimmel's show off the air under pressure from the Trump administration.
Kimmel's comments on Monday night about the suspect in Charlie Kirk's killing angered the administration. The late night host, who had called the murder "senseless" after it happened, said on his show Monday night, "We hit some new lows over the weekend with the MAGA gang desperately trying to characterize this kid who murdered Charlie Kirk as anything other than one of them and doing everything they can to score political points from it.”
By Wednesday, Federal Communications Commission chair Brendan Carr was threatening ABC owner Disney, saying on a podcast, "We can do this the easy way or the hard way." That night, ABC said it had pulled Jimmy Kimmel Live! off the air indefinitely.
President Trump suggested other late night TV should be pulled as well.
"That leaves Jimmy and Seth, two total losers, on Fake News NBC. Their ratings are also horrible. Do it NBC!!!" Trump posted on Truth Social.
On Thursday, Seth Meyers said on his show that the president was cracking down on free speech.
Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert gave scathing monologues about the state of free expression in the U.S.
"We all see where this is going, correct?" late night veteran David Letterman said onstage at The Atlantic Festival in New York City. "You can't go around firing somebody because you're fearful or trying to suck up to an authoritarian — a criminal — administration in the Oval Office. That's just not how this works."
Fresh off of an Emmy win last weekend, Stephen Colbert said, "Tonight, we are all Jimmy Kimmel."
"If ABC thinks this is going to satisfy the regime, they are woefully naive.”
https://www.npr.org/2025/09/19/nx-s1-5546839/jimmy-kimmel-trump-jimmy-fallon-seth-meyers-colbert
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I think Charlie Kirk made the country a worse place. I believe his murder makes the country even worse. ~ John Ganz
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ELIZABETH PACKARD —A WOMAN WHO FOUGHT AGAINST BEING SILENCED
Elizabeth Packard’s story is both heartbreaking and deeply inspiring. In 1860, after years of marriage and raising six children, her husband used the law to have her committed to an insane asylum. His reason wasn’t violence or instability—it was that she dared to think differently. Elizabeth questioned his strict Calvinist views and voiced her own independent beliefs, and at that time in Illinois, a husband could institutionalize his wife without any proof, without trial, and without her consent.
Inside the asylum, Elizabeth quickly realized that many of the women around her weren’t “insane” at all. They were simply inconvenient—wives who resisted, daughters who disobeyed, women who challenged the narrow roles forced upon them. Rather than breaking her spirit, the experience sharpened her resolve. She observed everything, took careful notes, and planned for the day she could share the truth.
After three years, she managed to get her case before a court. Her husband tried to paint her as unstable, but Elizabeth stood her ground. She spoke clearly, defended her right to her own thoughts, and won her freedom. The moment was more than personal vindication—it was a public statement that women were not property and their voices could not be dismissed as madness.
But she didn’t stop there. Elizabeth took her fight further, writing books about her ordeal and lobbying for changes in the law. Her persistence led to reforms that gave women greater protection from wrongful confinement and expanded their rights within marriage.
Her courage came at a time when defying a husband could cost a woman everything—her children, her reputation, even her freedom. Yet she chose truth over silence. Elizabeth Packard turned her personal injustice into a movement that made it harder for others to be silenced the way she was.
Photo credit : Laura Keyes @ Historic Voices
From the Facebook page of Violeta Kelertas, with gratitude.
Oriana:
Starting in the Middle Ages, husbands wanting to get rid of inconvenient wives used to send them to monasteries. Convents were also used as prisons for excess daughters or any rebellious women.
Here, the use of a hospital for the mentally ill minded me of the old Soviet practice, made all the more horrible by the use of drugs. But the political dissidents who experienced incarceration in a mental hospital said that the true torment was simply being around genuinely insane people. It is draining just to be around someone delusional, or deeply depressed. Late-stage alcoholics are also very draining — I speak from experience.
~
from my email to Violeta:
Who knew we'd live to see it. America as the world's beacon of free speech is no more.
Seems that dictators and wannabe dictators fear mockery most -- that's why comedians are a far more dangerous enemy than erudite editorial writers.Hitler likewise didn't allow any satire of his speeches etc.
The funny thing is that he also didn't allow any recordings of his "ordinary" voice, just talking about the weather etc. But one such recording was made and survived, showing that Hitler had a very ordinary voice, not outstanding in any way, just a plain average male voice with no magic to it, no special masculine power -- just the average guy, no trace of brilliance, no Fúhrer mystical power -- just blah.
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WHY JANE AUSTEN’S SISTER DESTROYED JANE’S LETTERS
Austen is one of the greatest writers in the English language – but relatively little is known about her. And that's in part because of an act that infuriates many to this day.
In early January 1796, 20-year-old Jane Austen wrote a gossipy letter to her beloved older sister, Cassandra. It had news of Jane's current crush, "a very gentlemanlike, good-looking, pleasant young man". Tom Lefroy was an Irish lawyer with whom Jane had cut a rug at three balls. She playfully urged her sister: "Imagine to yourself everything most profligate and shocking in the way of dancing and sitting down together."
She was already looking forward to their next encounter and she wrote again to Cassandra just a few days later. In this letter, she offered to let their friend Mary have "all my other admirers" because she had eyes only for Tom. However, Tom had to leave the country and in the same note she wrote: "At length the day is come on which I am to flirt my last with Tom Lefroy, and when you receive this it will be over. My tears flow as I write at the melancholy idea."
These letters, the earliest of Jane's that we have, suggest a vivacious, flirtatious, funny young woman who enjoys parties and dancing and the attention of the opposite sex. It's a vivid picture, and all the more precious because so few of Jane's letters survive. She was a prolific correspondent, estimated to have written thousands of letters during her lifetime, and yet we have only 160 of them. Years after Jane's death in 1817 from an unknown illness, Cassandra, to whom her sister had written most days when they were apart, burned almost all of her letters.
Her deed has puzzled and infuriated historians and biographers. Jane Austen is one of the greatest writers in the English language, second only to Shakespeare in the view of many. Her six novels – witty, withering and psychologically perceptive, pioneering in form and content – are still hugely popular today, as are screen adaptations, of which there are many. Yet beyond basic biographical facts, information about Jane is relatively scant. Was she, as has been claimed, a secret radical? A lesbian? Poisoned? How much more would we know about her had Cassandra, her main champion in life and the keeper of her flame after her death, preserved her letters? What secrets must they have held that Cassandra thought it best to burn them?
The different theories
This mysterious act of destruction is investigated in Miss Austen, a new four-part television drama based on Gill Hornby's best-selling and critically acclaimed novel of the same name. Years after Jane's death, Cassandra (Keeley Hawes) has traveled to the village of Kintbury, in Berkshire, where the Austen family's friends, the Fowles, lived. Cassandra is, ostensibly, there to help Isabella Fowle (Rose Leslie), whose father Fulwar is dying. However this is a house that holds many bitter-sweet memories for her (in real life, this is where she had been staying when Jane wrote to her about Tom Lefroy), and she has an ulterior motive.
She wants to retrieve some letters written by the late Jane to their friend Eliza Fowle, Isabella's mother, which she fears might contain details damaging to the novelist's legacy. When she finds the correspondence, it revives powerful memories of the events of years ago. The series takes place in two timelines – in 1830 – with the unmarried Isabella facing eviction from her home after her father's death and Cassandra trying to protect her sister's legacy – and decades previously, with young Cassandra (Synnøve Karlsen) and Jane (Patsy Ferran) navigating romances, family problems, and the ups and downs of life.
Hornby became interested in Cassandra after moving to Kintbury, and learning that "Miss Austen" had been engaged to the son of the vicar of the local church. On the reason for the bonfire of the letters, Hornby tells BBC Culture: "I have my own theory, as put out in the novel, and which I think stands up." Viewers of the series will discover it in due course.
"But there are other, prosaic reasons," she continues. "One is that these letters were newsy, gossipy. Those two shared everything – including very difficult sisters-in-law [Jane and Cassandra had six brothers]. I imagine there would have been a lot of indiscreet mentions of annoying relatives, and Cassandra would have wanted to avoid any future hurt feelings. There would also have been quite a lot of moaning. Jane worried about money incessantly – there are still many mentions left over to prove it. So all in all, they wouldn't necessarily show her in the best light."
Devoney Looser is Regents Professor of English at Arizona State University and a respected authority on Jane Austen. "A less often considered theory, which I think probable, is that Cassandra may also have been watching closely, in the early 1840s, the brutal treatment that critics were dishing out in reviews of the recently published letters of the late novelist Frances Burney," she tells the BBC. Burney was a writer of social comedies, who Austen grew up reading and took inspiration from.
"Those cruel reviews would have given Cassandra pause, considering that Jane's letters might have faced similar treatment. They might have been skewered in the early Victorian press, if published then. Of course, almost two centuries later, I think we can be confident that the opposite would eventually have been true – that these additional Austen letters would be welcomed and admired. That part is especially crushing."
However both Looser and Hornby defend Cassandra in what she did. Indeed, Hornby wrote Miss Austen at least partly with the intention of explaining her actions.
"Whatever her motives, the truth is – however biographers might complain – Cassandra did the right thing. Jane was a very private person," says Hornby, pointing to the fact that she chose to be published anonymously for the duration of her lifetime, with her identity only being widely revealed by her brother Henry in December 1817, via the biographical note he wrote for a posthumous edition of Persuasion and Northanger Abbey.
"She had no interest in fame, only writing," Hornby continues. "Both sisters would be horrified to think of us knowing their secrets. And the fact that – thanks to Cassandra's bonfire – we know so little about the author has proved wildly successful. That element of mysterious, quiet dignity is crucial to the success of the Jane Austen brand.”
Looser says: "Cassandra's reputation as the most notorious destroyer of Jane's letters isn't entirely fair. As a few scholars have recently pointed out, Cassandra is also the only Austen sibling who is known to have saved large numbers of her sister's letters. That said, of course I find it deeply upsetting that any of Jane's letters were ever destroyed. It's clear that they must have held more of her characteristic humor and social insights, as well as requisite everyday news and gossip."
A sisterly love story
Jane and Cassandra, who was older by three years, had a very close bond. They were the only daughters of a Hampshire clergyman. According to their mother, "if Cassandra's head had been going to be cut off, Jane would have hers cut off too". They lived together for much of their lives, and Cassandra was the only person with whom Jane discussed her work. A pencil and watercolour likeness by Cassandra is the only authenticated picture of Jane. The day after Jane's death, Cassandra wrote in a letter: "She was the sun of my life, the gilder of every pleasure, the soother of every sorrow. It is as if I have lost a part of myself." Neither woman married.
One of the relatively few letters from Jane Austen to Cassandra that does survive today.
In fact, the mystery element of Hornby's novel is simply the delivery mechanism for a moving exploration of unmarried women's lack of control over their own lives in this period. They often had little or no money and could well be dependent on the charity of relatives – which might or might not be forthcoming.
"The subjugation of women was the dominant theme in their existence," says Hornby. "Their lives were an obstacle course, and dodging the pitfalls was part of their every day. We don't see it, of course, because we live with so many options ourselves. But Austen's novels are all about the subjugation of women. All of her heroines – bar Emma – are in peril at the beginning. Those Bennet girls [from Pride and Prejudice] – once their father died, they would have no money, no home. Marriage is their only rescue plan – as Mrs Bennet so wisely sees. We read her as a comic creation – and of course, she is played for laughs. But actually, she's the sensible one who can see the great dangers ahead."
Andrea Gibb, who has adapted Miss Austen for the screen, says she fell in love with the book immediately. "It's so beautifully conceived, and could have been written by Austen herself. It has everything. Intrigue, mystery, romance and love. Not just romantic love but the enduring lifelong love that exists between sisters. The female experience is very much at the heart of the story. Women then were totally financially dependent on men. Making a good marriage was a survival mechanism as much as a romantic ideal."
This year is the 250th anniversary of Jane Austen's birth. As well as Miss Austen, the BBC has commissioned The Other Bennet Sister, a Pride and Prejudice spin-off drama about Mary Bennet based on the novel by Janice Hadlow. Netflix is reported to have an adaptation of Pride and Prejudice in the works. And in a book published later this year, Wild for Austen: A Rebellious, Subversive, and Untamed Legacy, Looser hopes to demolish "the continuing myth that Austen was mild, prim and boring," she says. Jane Austen's appeal shows absolutely no signs of abating.
"I think she endures because she deals with universal concerns and she shines a light on society and its inherent contradictions," says Gibb. "I think she has a lot to say to contemporary women. Whether they're young and full of idealism or whether they're older. She's a great recorder of human behavior and she's also very funny."
And let's not judge Cassandra too harshly. After all, who among us would want our gossipy missives and messages to our nearest and dearest read by all and sundry?
https://www.bbc.com/culture/article/20250129-the-mystery-of-why-jane-austens-letters-were-destroyed-by-her-own-sister
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If you want to die, throw yourself into the sea, and you’ll find yourself fighting to survive. You don’t actually want to die; you want to kill something inside you. ~ an Arab saying
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CHILD-FREE MOSCOW
There was an odd situation in Moscow, Russia when the algorithms of a new technology encountered unwritten rules of the autocracy, with the feel-goood outcome.
A delivery robot blocked a government motorcade in central Moscow. A human courier would not have dared to stand in its way, and if did, he would have received a fine of 7,500 rubles ($100).
The delivery robot however behaved strictly according to the traffic rules. When there’s a green traffic light and a zebra crossing, pedestrians have the right of way.
The robot followed preset algorithms exposing government motorcade breaking the traffic rules. As the robot is not human, it didn’t fear being run over or punished for transgression.
It did what every resident of this city should have always done and we wouldn’t have had any motorcade rushing at speeds way beyond speed limit endangering lives. It just tells me how we humans are governed by fear in our everyday life and how authorities take advantage of it by terrifying us with the possibility of punishment, which they have a monopoly on.
As a result of the brave action of the robot, the government motorcade stopped — which it has never done before — patiently waiting for the delivery robot to cross the road.
This is how new technologies are going to fix overreach of the powers that be: one brave, algorithm-driven act at a time.
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The Gazprom Neftekhim Salavat refinery in Bashkortostan was attacked with two drones that struck the facility, causing a fire and damage. It ranks 10th among Russian refineries in terms of oil production.
“Russia's budget will remain war-torn for a long time – about five to eight years,” said Moscow Exchange Chairman Sergei Shvetsov.
He called it a “a popular misconception” that “enduring” a year or two would suffice to “return to pre-war 2021.” Russian government is planning to increase VAT from 20% to 22% and bump up taxes on purchases of new cars hoping that if Russians won’t have cars they won’t need gasoline.
Against the backdrop of high interest rates, inflation, high VAT, fertility rates have dropped so significantly low that the official data collection agency was banned from publicizing them.
From anecdotal evidence as an observer in Moscow, I dare say birthrates are now well below 1 child per woman.
There was a peculiar scene that I witnessed on the bus the other day. There was a woman with two little children that she tended to with food, drinks, rattles in hyperactive and rather sterile manner.
I noticed that she was getting stinky looks from fellow passengers — about fifty altogether — as they felt uncomfortable dealing with a rare experience of little children’s noise and fussy mother. In the past, she would have had other women on the bus lending their emotional and practical support, but there was no sign of that social interaction — only mild irritation.
In the next moment it occurred to me that there were no other children on the bus, of any age.
While Putin and his colleagues who are in their eighth decade of life are busy exterminating citizens of Russia, our country is imploding in real time. ~ Misha Firer, Quora, September 19, 2025
Chris Chiapella:
“…if Russians won’t have cars they won’t need gasoline.”
To paraphrase Stalin: “No car, no problem.”
“While Putin and his colleagues who are in their eighth decade of life are busy exterminating citizens of Russia, this place is headed for extinction.”
To more directly quote Stalin: “No person, no problem.”
Putin and his minions are simply adhering to the solution methodology of their favorite leader.
Andy Dragomir:
Voting with their wombs.
J Lewis:
The problem is, unless we do something, much of the West will follow the catastrophic demographic of a rapidly aging population as well.
Tim Orum:
I have recently been watching bloggers making videos of Moscow and I admit I have been somewhat jealous. There are throngs of very well-dressed clean, sophisticated people everywhere walking clean streets. The women appear not to be afraid of being attractive and well-groomed and are seemingly oblivious to any threat of being violently raped or stabbed in the throat in public. While this does present a severe lack of cultural diversity as in the US and Europe, it is impressive to see people relaxed and confident. Another impressive aspect of life in Moscow is there seems to be almost no obesity. I haven’t seen anyone in electric carts moving around massively obese bodies like in the movie Wall-E, which tells me that although there may be a shortage of Western-style heavily processed, diabetes-inducing food, the suffering from this lack might have its advantages.
But most distinctive about these blogger videos is the fact that despite all those attractive people out appearing to enjoy life I have not seen so much as one single child. Something is seriously out of whack, and it isn’t just in Moscow.
Misha Firer:
Well, our state spends 1/3 of oil and gas revenues on security so no surprise it’s safe on the streets. Also consider that half of all state budget is lavished on Moscow. As you travel outside of Moscow, things deteriorate quite rapidly. But in terms of culture and language you won’t find any noticeable differences all across 9 time zones.
Tim Orum:
Would you say a large percentage of Muscovites work for the State? If that’s true what you say would make sense. Statists tend to create Gardens of Eden for themselves, while rejecting those who do not live within the “covenant”.
Misha Firer:
Oh definitely. From government agencies to state corporations. Add retirees, over a quarter of the city populace, who depend on the state for their pensions.
Tim Orum:
Yeah. Makes sense. Our politicos have a different tactic. They go ahead and destroy the cities while they reside in gated communities. We don’t even have a Potemkin city to enjoy.
Misha Firer:
Our political elites’ escape plan has traditionally been moving to the West, or in the case of peasants run away to the east, hide in Siberia.
We all live on a plain so only putting a lot of distance can save you rather than hiding in a gated community.
One aspect that the West misses out is the cohesiveness of the Russian people. When I heard a theory that Russia is going to break up into 50 parts, I realized that what the people who don’t live here don’t understand why it’s such a crazy proposition.
I remember during a summer vacation my daughter was playing with a little girl, a Ukrainian refugee who relocated to Germany with her mother.
She and her German step-father were crying out “shark!” in Russian on a playground in Turkey with the same intonation and the same rules of the game as I can hear daily on the playground here in Moscow and what you would hear on a playground in Vladivostok, across the bay from Japan.
It would be a mammoth task to break this culture and language down into dozens of independent political entities. Now there are areas in the south in the mountains of Caucasus who may be culturally and linguistically closer to Turkey. But by and large there’s one culture, language and mindset which makes Russia a formidable country even more so than its military.
Rich Enns:
In Russia, delivery robot is the gladiator in the Colosseum. Time will tell if the lions eat or starve…
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WHY SO MANY SUICIDAL PEOPLE DON’T SEEK HELP
When someone in crisis starts to see suicide as "logical," seeking help can feel unnecessary.
Fifty percent or more of people who die by suicide do not seek help before their deadly suicidal action. This phenomenon is found even in countries with high-quality services for suicidal people and a long tradition of national suicide prevention and research, such as Denmark.
This can perhaps be attributed in part to the various barriers to seeking help, such as stigmatization, the fear of not being understood, and the fear of being admitted to a psychiatric institution and being treated against their will. There are important intrapersonal reasons for not seeking help, too.
Yet in a survey with 8,400 individuals who reported episodes of suicidal ideation in the past year, three-fourths said that they did not feel they needed mental health treatment. And in our own follow-up study of patients who had attempted suicide, 52 percent said that nobody could have helped to prevent their self-harm, and only 10 percent mentioned a health professional.
How Suicide May Become an Ego-Syntonic Goal
Ego-syntonic is a psychoanalytic term, describing behaviors that are in harmony with a person’s sense of self. In hundreds of narrative interviews with patients who had attempted suicide, we found that in an acute emotional crisis—when the self is experienced as negative, useless, and broken—suicide may emerge as a “normal” solution to end it all, that is, as consistent with a highly negative sense of self.
Psychological pain and tunnel-thinking (dissociation) thus finally act as energizers to an ego-syntonic suicide action. Interestingly, immediately after an act of self-harm, people often switch back from an ego-syntonic experience to a distanced, ego-dystonic experience of their suicidal action.
In Bern, for instance, we have high bridges over the river Aare. People who survive the fall usually say that the moment they jumped, they realized that what they had just done was wrong. This was also the message of Kevin Hines, who survived a jump from the Golden Gate Bridge. The switch back is consistent with the concept of the suicidal mode as a switch-on, switch-off phenomenon.
Ego-syntonicity/dystonicity has conceptual similarities with the dual-processing theory. In our everyday decisions, we usually rely on what the authors call "system 1 thinking," which is intuitive, automatic, with little or no conscious input. However, in out-of-the-ordinary situations, "system 2" will usually be activated to override the decisions offered by system 1 in order to prevent us from making fatal decisions. System 2 is slower, characterized by explicit, conscious processing.
The question is why system 2 in the development toward suicide does not interfere with suicide as a life-threatening goal. The answer is that in a person’s negative self-evaluation related to mental pain, self-hate, and unbearable mental pain, probably with a history of repeated suicidal thoughts, suicide may appear as an acceptable, subjectively normal goal.
How a Video Technique Can Help Address Suicidal Actions
In ASSIP, a three-session, person-centered, highly collaborative therapy for patients with prior suicide attempts, we use the person’s suicide narrative—recorded on video in the first therapy session—for self-confrontation in the second session. Here, patients are put into the observer’s role, watching their suicide narrative—thus setting up system 2 to watch the patient's own ego-syntonic, system 1 suicide narrative.
With the support of the therapist, patients learn how suicide emerged as an acceptable goal in their lives. They gain insight into the danger of being caught in the tunnel vision of the suicidal mode, where suicide may appear as the only solution to end the suffering. They learn to recognize the trigger situations and warning signs, and how to mobilize their safety plans when necessary.
In a randomized controlled trial with 120 patients, ASSIP reduced the risk of suicide reattempts over a two-year follow-up period by 80 percent. We believe that the video-playback procedure is one of the main therapy components leading to a conscious revision of one’s own suicidal development.
Here is an example of a patient’s feedback after the video self-confrontation.
Dear doctor
Since I have seen you I have been feeling unburdened. Although about a week ago I experienced again something like beginning thoughts about suicide, I do feel better than three weeks ago, after the suicide attempt. Since then I also talked more with friends, and I tried again and again to explain what happened.
I feel that the interview, and above all, watching together the video afterwards, gave me very much in terms of working through. Today it is clear to me what a “silly” idea such a suicide attempt, or suicide itself, is.
Again, many thanks! With best regards, R.W.
Where the Traditional Suicide-as-Illness Model Falls Short
The medical model assumes that people with health problems seek help. However, the fact is that thousands of people at risk of suicide do not seek help.
Theories of suicide based on a medical model do not match the psychological experience of the suicidal person. When faced with suicidal patients, the typical health professional will do a psychiatric assessment and decide on the indicated management of the patient. This illness-based approach is likely to miss what I call “the person in the patient.”
Suicidal ideation and behavior are always highly personal. People need to understand the dynamics of their own suicidality, to become aware of the warning signs before they enter the suicidal mode. A truly person-centred approach must be collaborative, in that the health professionals and patients work toward a shared understanding of the person’s existential vulnerability, suicide triggers, and warning signs.
The Answer: Person-Centered Approaches to Suicidal Individuals
We need to move beyond the prevalent, risk-factor-based model of suicide and thus overcome the unfortunate disconnect between suicidal persons and health professionals. We need to promote and disseminate models of suicide that are meaningful to suicidal patients and their therapists.
Fortunately, there is now a growing and promising research interest into the role of a collaborative therapeutic working alliance with the suicidal person and narrative interviewing as moderating factors for therapy outcome.
Summary:
Thousands of people die by suicide without prior contact with health professionals. A so far neglected reason is that suicidal individuals experience suicide as an ego-syntonic goal. This psychological phenomenon does not fit into the conceptual frame of medicine. Health professionals who are open to the psychological dynamics of the suicidal individual will be more effective in reducing suicide risk in their patients.
If you or someone you know is at risk of suicide, seek help immediately. In the U.S., call 988 or go to 988lifeline.org.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-suicidal-mind/202506/why-so-many-suicidal-people-dont-seek-help
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WHAT DRIVES SUICIDAL THOUGHTS IN YOUNG PEOPLE
A new study of university students found that 47% have experienced suicidal thoughts in their lifetime.
Researchers found adverse childhood experiences were a major risk factor for suicidal thoughts.
Students’ identities also played a critical role in their likelihood of suicidal thoughts and behaviors.
It’s well-established that mental health among adolescents has declined over the past two decades, and researchers have been working to understand why more young people are dying by suicide.
A sweeping new study that includes researchers from across the globe sheds new light on the factors influencing this ongoing crisis. The study, published in Psychiatry Research, surveyed nearly 73,000 students—most in their first year of college—across 71 institutions in 18 countries. It is the largest international study of student mental health ever conducted.
The Prevalence of Suicidal Thoughts in College Students
The study found that many university students have considered suicide, with 47 percent of participants experiencing suicidal thoughts at some point in their lifetime and 30 percent experiencing suicidal thoughts within the 12 months preceding the survey. In addition, 14 percent had made a specific plan in the 12 months before the survey, and 2.3 percent attempted suicide in the 12 months before the survey.
Analyzing the risk factors, researchers found that participants’ childhood experiences played a critical role in predicting suicidal thoughts and behaviors. The strongest risk factors of suicidal thoughts were a history of emotional abuse, a diagnosis of major depressive disorder, and a diagnosis of bipolar disorder.
Mood disorders like major depression were most strongly associated with the initial emergence of suicidal thoughts. Other mental health conditions, such as panic disorder and bipolar disorder, were more strongly linked to the transition from having suicidal thoughts to making an attempt.
Similarly, the study revealed that different types of childhood trauma led to distinct patterns among students. Participants who reported emotional abuse were more likely to begin having suicidal thoughts; those who reported physical abuse were more likely to repeat suicide attempts over time.
What This Tells Us About Risk Factors for Suicidality
This data sheds new light on how we think about suicide risk and reveals important nuances about different factors. Health care providers often focus on immediate stressors—for example, academic pressure, social isolation, or recent life events. But this research suggests that some risk factors occurred years earlier.
Students’ identities also played a critical role in their likelihood of suicidal thoughts and behaviors. Students who identified as transgender were 2.4 times more likely to experience suicidal thoughts and 3.6 times more likely to attempt suicide compared to their peers. Students identifying as non-heterosexual also faced a greater likelihood of suicidal thoughts and behaviors, even after accounting for other factors like childhood adversity and mental health disorders.
The research underscores the complex nature of suicidal thoughts and behaviors. Risk factors stack throughout a person’s life—with each traumatic event and mental health disorder potentially contributing to the risk, researchers explained.
Understanding these patterns may help health care providers and schools intervene more effectively with a broad range of prevention strategies, such as early screening for mental health disorders and childhood trauma, community-building for at-risk populations, and trauma-informed mental health care for students at risk.
The take-home message: Understanding the risk factors for suicide among young people—and particularly the role of childhood experiences—can help health care providers and schools to identify those at the highest risk and provide support services.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evidence-based-living/202509/whats-driving-suicidal-thoughts-in-young-people
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“No one ever lacks a good reason for suicide.” ~ Cesare Pavese, an Italian poet and writer (1908-1950), committed suicide by an overdose of barbiturates. He was 41. He was allegedly suffering from depression and political disillusionment.
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“I WANT TO GET SOME BAD-ASS TATTOOS”: STUDY REVEALS WHY SUICIDAL TEENS CHOOSE TO KEEP LIVING
A new study has revealed the deeply personal reasons that suicidal adolescents give for wanting to live, with family, friends, pets, and hopes for the future topping the list.
The research, co-authored by Dr Mathijs Lucassen from City St George’s, University of London, could transform how mental health professionals support at-risk young people.
To find out more about the personal reasons that young people experiencing suicidal thoughts give for wanting to live, the international research team analyzed the words of 211 adolescents aged 13 to 17 who had been hospitalized during a suicidal crisis in the United States. Each young person was asked to share three “reasons for living” (RFL) as part of routine safety planning.
Family connections were the most common reason, but many young people also spoke about personal dreams and simple joys, from career goals and travel to what might seem relatively simple things, such as attending a concert or getting a meaningful tattoo. The study has been published in the American Psychiatric Association journal Psychiatric Services.
Dr Lucassen said:
“Adolescent suicide is a major challenge and determining a person’s reasons for living provides unique insights into who and what is most important to at-risk adolescents. Our research identified a range of reasons, from personal dreams to meaningful activities. RFL can be used to build therapeutic relationships, establish therapy goals, and personalize treatments. This can then lead to tailored support and hopefully reduced suicidal thoughts and behaviors.”
The study found that “my” was the most frequently used word, showing how strongly young people tied their survival to relationships, places, and personal ambitions. Many expressed curiosity about the future, writing things like “to see what the future has for me” or “to live for myself and enjoy my life.”
The researchers, Dr Ana Ugueto (Baylor College of Medicine, Texas Children’s Hospital), Dr Lauren O’Hagan (The Open University) and Dr Lucassen, indicated that these findings highlight the importance of hope-centered, personalized approaches to suicide prevention. Integrating each young person’s unique RFL into therapy could help strengthen protective factors and provide more meaningful support during crises.
The study drew on a diverse group of adolescents, with almost half identifying as Latino or Hispanic and with strong representation also from Black and Caucasian adolescents. This breadth of voices, the researchers note, makes the findings relevant for clinicians working with young people from diverse racial and ethnic backgrounds.
With suicide remaining a leading cause of death among teenagers worldwide, the team says these insights could help clinicians, families, and communities find new ways to help at-risk adolescents feel further seen, valued, and connected.
https://www.eurekalert.org/news-releases/1097014
Oriana:
I will never forget the dark times in my life when I thought about suicide every day, several times a day. Driving was particularly conducive to such thoughts, since I could see ways in which I could crash into the divider wall and end it all.
But the realist in me also saw that I might not succeed in killing myself, and end up disabled instead, confined to a life in a wheelchair. Then I’d truly despise myself. And I didn’t want to take a chance on that.
I also thought how devastating my suicide would be to my parents, and decided that I had no right to make them suffer. Another protective factor in my case was my seeing suicide as an act of cowardice and giving up, a stain on my family’s tradition of being war heroes.
In “Walking on Water,” I wrote:
to commit suicide would disgrace
the memory of my grandparents,
who had survived Auschwitz,
so what excuse might I give
for not surviving America?
I didn’t think I could ever be happy — unless for moments, while looking at the ocean, or even the palm tree whose lush crown I could see from my bedroom window. Sometimes I still think that it’s chiefly to the generous beauty of that palm tree that I owe my survival.
But a more realistic reason was that I began to write poetry in earnest, and could see my own development — and wanted to know how far I could go as a poet. Every new poem was a “natural high.”
Ultimately, I think, it was both factors — the beauty of California and my deepening commitment to poetry — that proved powerful enough to prevent self-harm. But the thoughts of suicide were constant, daily. “Hello darkness my old friend” was my anthem. The temptation to end it all was enormous — but I also loved my quirkiness and the inability to predict my life and myself. As I said in another poem, The Man in Black, “my curiosity kept me alive, wanting to know how far I could go.”
Not all that far, I am forced to conclude — but then, life is now more about beautiful moments than achievement. It wasn’t an intellectual insight so much as simply growing older, I suspect. I did in fact conclude that it was too late in life for suicide — that if I could survive my twenties and thirties, I could survive pretty much anything that life would throw at me. That, and my ineptitude at physical things — I had such low self-esteem that I imagined myself trying to operate a gun — trying to shoot myself and missing, as in my favorite “Vanya” (Ivan) joke — “Vanya shot into the air and missed.” I identified with Vanya completely. Paradoxically, it saved my life.
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WHY SIBLINGS WHO GROW UP TOGETHER CAN HAVE VASTLY DIFFERENT CHILDHOODS
Hearing your siblings describe their childhood can sometimes be a little jarring. You may even get the sense that you didn’t grow up on the same planet, much less in the same house.
“Despite having shared early experiences, it’s not uncommon for siblings to have experienced their childhood in a very different way,” said Genevieve von Lob, a clinical psychologist and author of “Happy Parent, Happy Child.”
It turns out this is normal ― and for a good reason. Below, experts break down this phenomenon.
Siblings are usually born into different circumstances.
The family circumstances a child is born into often differ from when their younger sibling arrives. For example, economic changes may make siblings feel like their childhoods weren’t the same.
“Significant changes in family financial status can impact differences in extracurricular activities, schooling, vacations, and other material aspects of childhood between siblings,” said Keneisha Sinclair-McBride, a clinical psychologist at Boston Children’s Hospital in Massachusetts. “These things are very tangible and can feel ‘unfair,’ even though they are often just a product of changes in circumstances.”
Emotional shifts in parents can play a significant role as well. For example, siblings are often born at different phases in their parents’ lives, so they might be treated differently.
“Parents may show up very differently for each of their children depending on where they are in their own lives, including their own mental health and stress levels, their significant partnership, support network, work and financial commitments, and whether they have more than one child,” von Lob said.
She noted that parenting might feel overwhelming to someone highly sensitive, as their nervous systems become overstimulated more quickly.
“If they have more than one child, other stressors in their lives, or if they haven’t had enough sleep and time alone to recharge their batteries, then they can become more drained, anxious, irritated and frazzled,” von Lob said. “So differences in the way a child is parented can also be influenced by the temperament of the parent and where the parent is emotionally in their lives.”
Thus, birth order can impact your perception of your parents.
“Siblings born years apart are quite literally born from parents who themselves are years apart from who they were during the earlier or later pregnancy,” noted Dr. Kevin Simon, a child and adolescent psychiatrist at Boston Children’s Hospital and chief behavioral health officer for the city of Boston.
As parents get more experience raising children, they inevitably evolve in their caregiving style.
“Some parents are more unsure and cautious with their first child and more sure of themselves with subsequent siblings,” Sinclair-McBride said. “This can make older and younger siblings’ experiences different.”
Parents may recognize that certain approaches they took with their first child weren’t ideal and adjust accordingly.
“Maybe the older sibling was treated more harshly, but the parents readjusted their parenting style and were more compassionate with their parenting moving forward with a younger sibling,” said parenting educator Laura Linn Knight. “An older sibling also may have experienced or witnessed more than the younger sibling, such as a divorce, so this can affect the way they see themselves in the family dynamic.”
Birth order can also shape the way a child perceives and interacts with their parents.
“For example, the oldest child is often expected to take on more responsibilities and look after younger siblings, so may have different expectations placed on them,” von Lob said. “In this way, they may have a very different experience of their childhood. Younger siblings may have a parent who feels more experienced and therefore may be more relaxed but may have less time to give that child than the firstborn.”
How parents respond to their kids’ differing personalities also plays a role.
“All siblings are unique individuals ― including twins,” Sinclair-McBride said. “Having their own personality styles, traits, and characteristics may cause siblings to interpret or experience the same situations or parenting differently. In turn, these differences may impact the way they are parented, connect to their parents and experience their family.”
One child may share certain interests and personality traits with one or both parents, while another sibling has more of their own distinct personality and interests. So if one kid is passionate about that same sport or team their parent loves, they may forge a specific bond around that activity.
“Sometimes, a child’s personality traits can bring out different sides of their parents, and parents may relate to a child’s personality more than another child, which can be seen as favoritism,” Knight said. “Because of personality traits of the child and parent, you find that parents respond differently to each child or enjoy spending more time with a child that is easier for them to communicate with and enjoy the company of. When we look at differences in personality, temperament, needs and interests of parents and children, it is easy to see that siblings will have their own unique experience.”
Even parents with the best intentions don’t respond to each child similarly. Factors like personality, past experiences and even societal expectations around gender roles can color each interaction. While some kids are more extroverted and crave attention, others can be more reserved and less open about what they want.
“The gender, personality, needs, mannerisms and behavior of each particular child can trigger parents in different ways, which can result in a sibling who is treated very differently than the other children,” von Lob said.
She noted that a parent may find their strong-willed, highly sensitive child more demanding and difficult to manage than their laidback, easy-tempered child ― which can lead to very different interactions over those childhood years.
Siblings’ reactions to and reflections on the same experience can differ
“Depending on the personality, temperament, and characteristics we’re born with, our parents will respond to those differences,” said clinical psychologist and author Jenny Yip. “Siblings are different individuals who will also respond to their parents differently.”
She noted that no two individuals think the same way about a situation. Thus, siblings can have different emotional responses to similar experiences. This is true for how they feel during childhood and as adults looking back.
“It’s just like eyewitness accounts,” Yip said. “You have 10 people who all saw the same thing, but depending on belief system, attitude, and values, they’re going to interpret the same incident differently. Another example is like watching a movie. Everyone in the room watches the same movie, but what each person takes from it and relates to it is going to be different depending on your values, attitudes, and belief system. It’s the same with siblings who share the same parents.”
Siblings can disagree about shared experiences. For example, one may have been more affected by a particularly positive or traumatic event that they both lived through. Or they may simply have a different impression of whether something was positive or negative at all.
“One sibling may have loved the village they grew up in, but the other sibling found it stifling,” von Lob said. “One sibling may have loved the camping holidays in the countryside, but the other sibling found it boring and remembers wanting to go abroad.”
This is not necessarily a bad thing.
“It is normal and expected for siblings to have different experiences with their parents,” Simon said. “This is neither good nor bad in and of itself. It is a natural result of each sibling’s unique personality, experiences, and perspective.”
Indeed, the fact that you and your siblings grew up in the same home but had very different perceptions of your childhoods does not necessarily indicate a problem.
“Children do not have to be treated exactly the same at all times to be treated equitably,” Sinclair-McBride said. “Because each individual is unique, they have unique needs and experiences. If those needs were met with love and support, slight differences in treatment do not have to be a cause for alarm for parents or siblings.”
Still, the reality is that you and your siblings have different impressions of your childhood, and your parents may feel uncomfortable. That’s where talking about it can help.
“Siblings need to recognize and respect each other’s differences in how they perceive and relate to their parents,” Simon said. “Siblings can learn to appreciate and value each other’s perspectives, even if they disagree.”
Although these differences are natural and understandable, processing them is still helpful. In addition, there might be some negative feelings that warrant addressing.
“If one or more siblings feel that there was unfair and unequal treatment in their childhoods, working through this together can be very beneficial to their relationships,” Sinclair-McBride said. “Giving one’s siblings grace to explain their experiences without judgment and defensiveness can help with perspective-taking and compassion. Trying to change other people’s perceptions of their experiences is a futile exercise. Working through one’s own experiences can be healing.”
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/why-siblings-different-childhoods-parents_l_641b2250e4b0a3902d342946?origin=article-related-life
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RUSSIA’S “TRADITIONAL VALUES” AND ROADS
For this unique engineering feat in Irkutsk Oblast, Russian engineers used traditional values instead of bitumen to create a shifting and impassable paving material.
The dirt track has been passed down from father to son for generations through patrimonial relationships reflected in patronymics sealed through generous application of moral standards and patriotism.
On September 1 that marks first day of school year, in the villages of Red Cavalier Guard and New Kiev, children were unable to get to the assembly hall in a cow field because buses got stuck in the dirt road that had become muddy after the rains.
Rather than build a road with liberal bitumen, traditional values were enforced and enhanced through switching to distance learning.
Mikhail Lomonosov, dubbed Russian Da Vinci, had walked for three weeks from his village in Archangelsk region to Moscow. He started off in 1730 and arrived next year in 1731 with the fish traders caravan.
He ate so much fish along the way that all that Omega-3 boosted his IQ that went up from sixty to one hundred and sixty. He enrolled in a Greek-Latin academy and several years later he founded Russia’s first university.
Day of Walking, Moscow
At the public event Day of Walking in Moscow, there were so many people gathered in one place that nobody could actually walk. The organizers might’ve as well called it Day of Standing Still.
The occasion for crowding on the photo was a free distribution of trekking sticks. Apparently you can’t walk you need sticks. The new lucky owners used the trekking sticks as weapons to fight their way out of the crowd.
The sidewalks are impassable throughout Moscow. They had been stripped of asphalt and paving stones because our mayor’s wife owns paving stone factory and she needs to use them somewhere to make money. So every summer every sidewalk in the city gets “an update.” We have “renewable” roads and sidewalks.
Mayor’s wife can’t sell paving stone in Irkutsk oblast because firstly, they don’t have money. Putin stole it to give to her Siberian husband to transform Moscow into a tier-two Chinese town apparently by means of renewing sidewalks every year. Plus it’s too far away and besides local residents don’t want to use liberal paving stone to cover up traditional dirt.
Hence our destiny is to live in the city where it’s impossible to drive nor walk. ~ Misha Firer, Quora
Hunter Hailer:
I guess Russia is the ‘man ‘ stuck in mud.
Paul Smith:
Putin and Trump two criminals corrupting and destroying their countries.
Matt Leśniak:
And they are still popular. Trump has his second term, while Putin would still win even if elections were not rigged. Russians and Americans deserve their Presidents. It is the time for Idiocracy. Idiots elect incompetent and/or corrupt evil people and are incapable of noticing their mistake and learning from it.
Tim Orun:
I recently saw videos out of Moscow showing a storm really tearing things up. I’m sure it was a localized storm in just one area of Moscow but still very intense. It would have taken very good roads and sidewalks to stand up to that kind of wind and flooding.
Rusty Wright:
Actually, Misha, I think that this is a military strategic tactic. I.e., if the roads are so terrible then the EU and NATO forces won't be able to invade and travel to Moskva. This tactic was used more or less successfully when Napoleon and Hitler came to visit.
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It’s basically a free-for-all when it comes to deciding which of the Bible's commandments you wish to follow. Jesus took a tough line on observing the Mosaic Law (Matt 5:17–19; Mk 10:17–31), but Paul tossed all that out, and said it was up to individual consciences which of the Mosaic laws believers followed — and that no-one should be judged for their decision. ~ Jon Spencer, Quora
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ATHEISM GROWING IN THE MUSLIM WORLD
I’m from a country where Muslims represent 99.7% of the population. Several years ago, we were hardly hearing about atheism in the cultural sector nor in our daily lives. Nowadays, it’s enough to go to internet to find tens of ex-Muslims websites in Arabic, criticizing Islam and preaching atheism.
Reasons:
Frustration: Everyone knows Muslims are living rough times. Take refugees as example, when they go to Europe and see humanity and hospitality of people called Atheists and compare it to cannibalism of people called Muslims… you get the point.
Openness to the world: Most Muslims are Muslims cause they are born so. They didn’t go through any study, and most of them didn’t even try to justify their belief. When you read arguments based on science and rationality for the first time you get impressed. And the conclusion is usually seductive: just be a good person.
Naivety of Islamic scholars: Atheism leaders are usually world class scientists, philosophers and intellectuals. Most Islam leaders are individuals who studied only Islam, most of the time not even comparative religion. In most debates, atheists are more competent.
Extremism and petrification of Islamic scholars: Not only bloody speeches, many Islamic scholars are still thinking in a stupid and inert way. They forbid everything: Music, singing, studying philosophy or logic, shaking hands between genders, etc. That alienates Muslims to be either non-practicing or not religious at all.
Drawing attention: Many Muslims become atheists because it’s fashionable. They like the reaction of others when saying ‘I’m an atheist’. If you’re an atheist then you’re smart. Some girls find it sexy on guys, no joke.
Alex Ojideaugu:
All your points are correct. Education and too many restrictions of modern life are what will kill Islam. Islam must adapt, like Saudi Arabia is having to, or it will die. How can anyone ban music? Even Saudi Arabia now allows music.
Guy Zille:
Point 4 is sad, but it is the truth. Sometimes i sit in mosque and I am stunned by the stupidity of the things that some of the muslim leaders will state.
Quintus Chess:
I don’t know if atheism seems smart, but I agree that theism is stupid.
Just Human:
Yes, this is true. I live in a country where statics claimed that 95% plus population is Muslim. It is Pakistan.
But
The environment in big urban cities is changing. In five years things had changed in huge way. Few years before their are no discussion of atheism. But now this type of talk is happening.
In my country you will find worldclass extreme Muslim people. These are those people who never care about economy, human rights, future of their children. They just care about Islamic extreme ideology which is not only destroying their lives but also the life of those who didn't care about Islam.
You will find these people everywhere.
But, because of them . . .
Well educated people are frustrated, they are tired of this ideology.
I think in my country their are about 10% atheist or those who do not believe in Islam.
These people are not expressing their thoughts because of extreme people around them. Most of people are scared, they can talk about atheism but not say it openly that they are also atheist.
Sommath Pal:
I think Wahabism has done more harm to Islam and Muslims. The kind of Islam the Wahabis are trying to spread is simply frightening. This has lead to a lot of misunderstanding about Islam amongst non Muslims.
Furthermore, terrorist attacks by some radicalized Muslim groups have strengthened the belief amongst non Muslims that Islam preaches violence.
Now it is the responsibility of Muslims in general to change this image of Islam by their behavior and by spreading the message that Islam is truly a religion of love, peace and compassion. Simply lip service would not be sufficient. Muslims will have to walk the talk. It now appears to be a Herculean task but I think is not impossible.
Kalos Tyr:
Point number 5 seems ridiculous for me. If you proclaimed yourself as atheist in ultra-conservative Muslim countries like Pakistan, Yemen, Sudan etc, all you get probably a death threat to renounce your atheism and turn back to islam rather than praise “woah you're atheist, so smart" from society.
~ Abdelouahab KH, Quora
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PAUL’S TEACHING VS THE TEACHINGS OF JESUS
The single biggest contradiction between the teachings of the apostle Paul and the teaching of Jesus has to do with works and the law.
Jesus was all about works.
Jesus was also all about the law, if Matthew 5:17-19 is an authentic teaching of Jesus. (Some think it isn’t.)
17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil. 18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled. 19 Whosoever therefore shall break one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the kingdom of heaven: but whosoever shall do and teach them, the same shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven. (Matthew 5:17-19)
On the other hand, Paul tossed out works and the law like yesterday’s stinky garbage.
Will the greatest christian evangelist thus be the least in the kingdom heaven?
Or was the passage above written by a warring theologian of the James/Peter school of theology, as a rebuttal of Paul?
Why didn’t the much-lauded holy ghost lead early christians to the same, correct understanding of works and the law?
Jesus said a house divided is doomed to fall.
What about a house divided into 45,000 different christian denominations?
Apparently, the holy ghost is not a good communicator.
How did Paul's teachings become central to christianity despite obvious contradictions with Jesus's own teachings?
Well, very few Gentiles were going be circumcised, give up shrimp and pork, or keep 613 nit-picky rules, many of which “don’t make a lick of sense.”
Paul made the christian religion more palatable to the non-Jewish world.
The Matthew 5:17-19 law-based version of Christianity would never have flown outside tiny Judea.
Jesus: “I will judge you by your works.”
Paul: “I hate the law, so works mean nothing.”
~ Michael R. Burch, Quora
Oriana:
Paul made Christianity easy to practice by rejecting the need for circumcision and kosher food. I admire Jesus for having said that it’s not what enters your mouth that can defile you, but what comes out of it, i.e. hate-filled speech, lies, etc.
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SIMPLE STRATEGY TO DELAY AGING
An analysis of a trial in the journal Nature Aging shows how aging can be slowed by a simple nutrient and lifestyle intervention, even when that intervention is started late in life — in people averaging 75 years old. [Bischoff-Ferrari HA, Gangler S, Wieczorek M, et al: Individual and additive effects of Vitamin D, omega-3 and exercise on DNA methylation clocks of biological aging in older adults]
Researchers found that rather than aging processes continuing over the course of three-year study, the participants experienced a slowdown of biological aging (approximately 2.9 - 3.8 months) measured by DNA methylation clocks.
Advances in the fields of biologics and cellular reprogramming may one day result in complete control of degenerative aging.
In the interim, cost-effective and accessible strategies exist today to slow biological aging processes.
Enlightened individuals may thus gain additional life years, during which scientists are actively working to develop therapies to delay, halt, or even reverse pathological processes.
A study published in Nature Aging (February 3, 2025) that further corroborates the value of consistent science-based health maintenance.
The following interventions were shown to slow estimated biological aging:
Strength training for 30 minutes — 3x per week
Vitamin D3 (2,000 IU/day)
Omega 3 (1000 mg/day)
Subgroup analysis of the individual interventions revealed that omega-3 supplementation had the overall single greatest effect on slowing biological aging.
Combining all three interventions (vitamin D, omega-3s and home exercise program) had additive benefits for reducing the rate of biological aging in one out of the four biological aging clocks.
Even greater benefits in reducing the rate of biological aging would likely have been achieved if the dosages of vitamin D3 and Omega-3 were raised.
~ Life Extension, October 2025
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HOW TO COMBAT ‘INFLAMMAGING’
It may sound like a made-up word, but “inflammaging” is a medical term coined more than 20 years ago to describe the chronic inflammation that happens in our bodies as we get older. “It’s a word that combines ‘aging’ and ‘inflammation’ to describe a low-level inflammatory process,” says Linda Herrmann, Ph.D., a clinical associate professor and aging expert in the Division of Advanced Nursing Practice at Rutgers, the State University of New Jersey. “It’s systemic throughout the body, but occurs in the absence of an acute illness or injury.”
The concept has been a hot research topic for the past two decades. “We’re looking for what leads to age-related changes in the body. The question is how and why do we age, and is there anything we can do about it?” says Ian Neel, M.D., an associate clinical professor of medicine and member of the UC San Diego, Division of Geriatrics, Gerontology and Palliative Care team. “We know that people with multiple medical problems have higher blood markers for inflammation, and that higher inflammation levels tends to be correlated to higher disease levels.”
It turns out that inflammaging is a risk factor for cardiovascular diseases, kidney disease, diabetes, cancer, depression and dementia. “The rise in rates of these conditions are the by-products of a longer life span,” says Nicole Ehrhart, V.M.D., the director of Colorado State University’s Columbine Health Systems Center for Healthy Aging, which coordinates the university’s interdisciplinary research teams focused on aging. “But health span, or the number of years we spend living without the burden of chronic disease, has not kept pace.”
Researchers hope to pinpoint key factors that affect our biological ages rather than our chronological ages. “Aging is the highest risk factor for disease on the rise globally,” says Ehrhart. “Our aging cells don’t recover and repair from the wear and tear of everyday function or damage later in life. If aging is the common thread linking all chronic disease of older age, perhaps we could think of cellular aging as a ‘disease’ that we could ‘treat.’” Until we have concrete answers on how to stop inflammaging completely, consider this your guide to slowing it down.
What causes inflammaging?
Aging is a complex process, and research about inflammaging is still in its early stages. “There are many theories being explored about the causes of inflammaging, but we don’t have certainty about it yet,” says Herrmann. Potential triggers may include genetic susceptibility, obesity, changes in the microbiome and chronic infections.
Another cause seems to be cellular senescence, which is when cells stop replicating, but they don’t die. “Instead, they go into a sort of ‘undead’ state, secreting inflammatory factors and inducing neighbor cells to do the same,” says Ehrhart. These cells can accumulate as we age, causing the immune system not to function as efficiently as we get older.
How is inflammation different from inflammaging?
Of course, not all inflammation is bad, and your body’s ability to launch an acute inflammatory response to invaders is essential. “We need inflammation to help our bodies fight off infections caused by viruses or bacteria or to help an injury, such as a cut, heal,” says Neel.
However, “as we age, our immune system gets less specific to what it’s reacting to. After a while, this cumulative sort of chronic response actually becomes this low-grade chronic inflammation,” says Ehrhart. “It doesn’t’ function like it used to when we were younger.” The result is inflammaging.
How can you prevent inflammaging?
Aging is inevitable, but you can take these steps to manage inflammaging:
Get moving. Exercise provides the greatest impact for keeping you healthy and reducing the risk of chronic conditions, like heart disease or dementia, says Neel. In fact, a 2020 study found that when older adults maintained regular exercise throughout their lives, they were more likely to prevent or delay inflammaging.
Work on your balance. “We lose sensitivity in our feet and a sense of where our foot is as we age, which can contribute to falls and increase the risk of head and body injuries,” says Neel. Doing activities such as tai chi and yoga once a week can help.
Eat right. A diet that includes foods rich in omega-3 fatty acids (such as salmon) and antioxidants (such as berries) may help manage inflammaging, says Neel. Studies have found that eating a Mediterranean diet, which is high in vegetables, legumes, fruits, nuts and seeds, may be linked to lower levels of inflammation.
Focus on your waistline. Fat that accumulates around the waistline, known as visceral fat, contains inflammatory markers, so reducing the circumference of your midsection may help, says Herrmann.
Manage stress. Chronic stress or depression may ramp up inflammation, so it's important to look for ways to decompress.
Spend quality time with others. Some research shows that loneliness also may contribute to inflammation.
Get good sleep. Poor sleep is associated with higher levels of inflammatory biomarkers.
https://getpocket.com/explore/item/how-to-combat-inflammaging-the-aging-side-effect-no-one-talks-about?utm_source=firefox-newtab-en-us
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WOMEN AGE DIFFERENTLY THAN MEN
“We have a gamut of people framing men living longer as longevity and a very hopeful message,” said Wright, an orthopedic surgeon and author based in Orlando. That is a positive thing, but “for generations, when you think of women living longer, the solution is anti-aging, as if there’s something wrong with us. There’s nothing wrong with us. We are aging in a different way than men.”
Women do live longer than men, on average. But Wright is focusing not just on living longer but also living better. And in her book, she addresses female longevity from the perspectives of women. She notes the role that shifting hormones play in this process and encourages women to work on disease prevention and strength building during their early midlife years — instead of waiting on good health to run out.
Those years — think 35 to 45 years old — can be used as a time to strengthen oneself rather than to succumb to the myth that one’s best days are in the past, she said. Wright calls it the “critical decade.”“I believe and have shown that with a daily investment in our mobility, in smart nutrition, in mobilizing our mindset,” Wright said, “we can live healthy, vital, active, joyful, unbreakable lives long into the foreseeable future.”
CNN spoke with Wright about how women can work toward aging with power.
CNN: How can women change their mindset on aging?
Dr. Vonda Wright: I spend a lot of time in the first part of my book asking women to identify what their values are — their “why” for making changes. I value independence — getting to do what I want when I want to do it. If I receive help, it’s because I want it, not because I need it. I value a clear brain. Once you know your values, you can form your goals. Many women don’t want to be a burden to their children.
When it comes to the discourse over longevity, the “bro scientists” are mostly leading the way.
That’s according to longevity specialist Dr. Vonda Wright, whose new book, “Unbreakable: A Woman’s Guide to Aging With Power,” aims to level the playing field.
Women do live longer than men, on average. But Wright is focusing not just on living longer but also living better. And in her book, she addresses female longevity from the perspectives of women. She notes the role that shifting hormones play in this process and encourages women to work on disease prevention and strength building during their early midlife years — instead of waiting on good health to run out.
Those years — think 35 to 45 years old — can be used as a time to strengthen oneself rather than to succumb to the myth that one’s best days are in the past, she said. Wright calls it the “critical decade.”
“I believe and have shown that with a daily investment in our mobility, in smart nutrition, in mobilizing our mindset,” Wright said, “we can live healthy, vital, active, joyful, unbreakable lives long into the foreseeable future.”
CNN: What dietary changes can support female longevity?
Wright: I’m going to give you some frameworks and practical tips. No. 1: We are not losing weight. We are recomposing, meaning it matters what we’re made of, because we’re trying to maximize lean muscle and minimize body fat — not to be skinny but to be lean.
No. 2: Women deserve to eat. We’ve been taught for generations that we can only be little, and therefore we don’t eat. But you must eat to be healthy, so what do we eat? I’m a big proponent of 1 gram of protein per ideal pound a day, so that we support the muscle we’re trying to build.
But we have got to stop eating so much sugar in this country, because it’s cooking us from the inside out. It contributes to multiple diseases caused by chronic, age-related inflammation. I’m not against carbs; I’m against simple carbs and sugar because of what they do to our glycemic index, which measures how quickly a food makes your blood sugar rise.
I’d rather people get their nutrition from whole foods, and that’s partly why the book also contains recipes and dinner plans.
CNN: What are the most important types of movement for aging with power?
Wright: I prescribe exercise with the acronym “FACE” your future.
The F is flexibility and joint range of motion. Tendons, ligaments and muscles naturally shorten with time, which results in stiff joints and people being hunched over and shuffling around. Some great exercises for that are Pilates, yoga, tai chi and dynamic stretching.
The A is aerobic. The book has a big outline for caring for your heart, and it is not high-intensity interval training seven days a week. I prescribe 80-20 aerobic activity, which means 80% of the time we are in lower heart rate exercise, whether it’s walking or something else, and 20% of the time we are sprinting. This is modeled after what we do with pro athletes.
The C is “carry a load.” Our goal is strength and power, so lifting heavy is very well detailed for hundreds of pages in this book. Basically, it means fewer reps, higher weights.
Finally, E is equilibrium, or balance, and foot speed. You may be strong and flexible, but if you trip and fall, you often have what’s called a fatal fall and break something that 50% of the time puts you in a nursing home.
Wright: That more satisfying life might start with creating a streak. For seven days in a row, you’re doing something that’s helpful to your body, such as walking every day after your biggest meal. Then you don’t want to stop because you’ve worked hard.
Also start a foundational or starting weight lifting program. I have one of those in my book, just to teach you how to move your body. It will take six or nine months to work up to heavy, but it’s not hard. Hiring a trainer to teach you is very helpful. I encourage people, as the holidays are coming up, don’t ask for a purse or some appliance. Ask for a trainer.
Dr. Vonda Wright said she hopes her book “Unbreakable” will empower women with optimism, tools and an understanding of female aging.
Women do live longer than men, on average. But Wright is focusing not just on living longer but also living better. And in her book, she addresses female longevity from the perspectives of women. She notes the role that shifting hormones play in this process and encourages women to work on disease prevention and strength building during their early midlife years — instead of waiting on good health to run out.
Those years — think 35 to 45 years old — can be used as a time to strengthen oneself rather than to succumb to the myth that one’s best days are in the past, she said. Wright calls it the “critical decade.”
“I believe and have shown that with a daily investment in our mobility, in smart nutrition, in mobilizing our mindset,” Wright said, “we can live healthy, vital, active, joyful, unbreakable lives long into the foreseeable future.”
CNN spoke with Wright about how women can work toward aging with power.
CNN: How can women change their mindset on aging?
Dr. Vonda Wright: I spend a lot of time in the first part of my book asking women to identify what their values are — their “why” for making changes. I value independence — getting to do what I want when I want to do it. If I receive help, it’s because I want it, not because I need it. I value a clear brain. Once you know your values, you can form your goals. Many women don’t want to be a burden to their children.
CNN: What are some important scientific findings on female aging, and how do they inform your advice?
Wright: There are estrogen receptors everywhere, from brain to muscle to bone. Without estrogen, nearly every organ system is affected, meaning the rate of aging increases. For instance, during the perimenopause period, women can lose 15% to 20% of our bone density. That’s more rapid (than the bone density loss men experience as they age). The brain starves without estrogen, and the lack can also increase inflammation and risk for cardiovascular disease. Making your hormone optimization decision based on facts, not fear, is one of the first decisions I want women to make.
CNN: What dietary changes can support female longevity?
Wright: I’m going to give you some frameworks and practical tips. No. 1: We are not losing weight. We are recomposing, meaning it matters what we’re made of, because we’re trying to maximize lean muscle and minimize body fat — not to be skinny but to be lean.
No. 2: Women deserve to eat. We’ve been taught for generations that we can only be little, and therefore we don’t eat. But you must eat to be healthy, so what do we eat? I’m a big proponent of 1 gram of protein per ideal pound a day, so that we support the muscle we’re trying to build.
But twe have got to stop eating so much sugar in this country, because it’s cooking us from the inside out. It contributes to multiple diseases caused by chronic, age-related inflammation. I’m not against carbs; I’m against simple carbs and sugar because of what they do to our glycemic index, which measures how quickly a food makes your blood sugar rise.
I’d rather people get their nutrition from whole foods, and that’s partly why the book also contains recipes and dinner plans.
CNN: What are the most important types of movement for aging with power?
Wright: I prescribe exercise with the acronym “FACE” your future.
The F is flexibility and joint range of motion. Tendons, ligaments and muscles naturally shorten with time, which results in stiff joints and people being hunched over and shuffling around. Some great exercises for that are Pilates, yoga, tai chi and dynamic stretching.
The A is aerobic. The book has a big outline for caring for your heart, and it is not high-intensity interval training seven days a week. I prescribe 80-20 aerobic activity, which means 80% of the time we are in lower heart rate exercise, whether it’s walking or something else, and 20% of the time we are sprinting. This is modeled after what we do with pro athletes.
The C is “carry a load.” Our goal is strength and power, so lifting heavy is very well detailed for hundreds of pages in this book. Basically, it means fewer reps, higher weights.
Finally, E is equilibrium, or balance, and foot speed. You may be strong and flexible, but if you trip and fall, you often have what’s called a fatal fall and break something that 50% of the time puts you in a nursing home.
CNN: How can women progress to heavy lifting?
Wright: That might start with creating a streak. For seven days in a row, you’re doing something that’s helpful to your body, such as walking every day after your biggest meal. Then you don’t want to stop because you’ve worked hard.
Also start a foundational or starting lifting program. I have one of those in my book, just to teach you how to move your body. It will take six or nine months to work up to heavy, but it’s not hard. Hiring a trainer to teach you is very helpful. I encourage people, as the holidays are coming up, don’t ask for a purse or some appliance. Ask for a trainer.
Once you arrive there, that is what you should do for the rest of your life, because we’re trying to build strength and power, not necessarily endurance or bigger muscles.
CNN: What are the best ways to build mental resilience?
Wright: The work that I cite in the book is built around building mental hardiness, and there are 10 hardiness factors. Interestingly, one of them is physical activity. The research I looked at, by Dr. Paul Bartone and Dr. Steven Stein, was done on prisoners of war, current US Army Rangers and people with really tough congenital problems. One common characteristic of all those people is they had a physical activity practice.
If you learn to lift heavy, what happens physically is you get stronger. But every time you’re done lifting, your brain feels invincible. Another example is that I do Spartan Stadion obstacle course races in legendary stadiums, and I frequently invite women who follow me on social media to join me. They show up in all states of fitness — some not fit, some world-class athletes. When they finish doing hard physical things, their brain has also changed.
It’s really important to realize that you are worth the daily investment in your health. Many times people, especially women, prioritize everything in the world in front of themselves. But the reality is, to do the work, we need to realize that we are worth the daily investment.
https://cnn.it/3JGrx99a
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POSITIVE EMOTIONS AND LONGEVITY
Longevity may be related to a variety of factors including heredity, gender, socioeconomic status, nutrition, social support,medical care, and personality and behavioral characteristics (Robine, Vaupel, Jeune, & Allard, 1997). These factors might operate throughout life or at particular life stages. Recent findings from the Nun Study, a longitudinal study of older Catholic sisters, indicated that linguistic ability in early life is associated with survival in late life (Snowdon, Greiner, Kemper, Nanayakkara, & Mortimer,1999). In that study, the idea density (proposition, information, and content) of autobiographies written at a mean age of 22 years was strongly related to survival and longevity 6 decades later.
Because the autobiographies appeared to contain emotional content that might be associated with idea density (Snowdon et al., 1996), we investigated the relationship between emotional content in these early life writings and survival in late life.
A growing body of literature has shown positive and negative emotion-related attitudes and states to be associated with physical health, mental health, and longevity. For example, in a longitudinal study of Harvard graduates, Peterson (Peterson, Seligman, & Vaillant, 1988) found the ways in which young men explained bad events predicted health outcome decades later. Such studies appear to be based on assumptions that emotion-based constructs reflect patterns of coping with negative life events and stresses that can be harmful or beneficial to health. The assumptions of the current longitudinal investigation of emotions and longevity are very similar and evolved from what is known about the underlying relationships among emotion, temperament, and physiology that might influence longevity. This study builds on the knowledge that there are universal, patterned emotional responses that affect physiology in ways that are potentially damaging or beneficial.
This study found a very strong association between positive emotional content in autobiographies written in early adulthood and longevity 6 decades later. Such a finding is congruent with other studies by investigators that have found relationships between longevity and emotion-related concepts. Features of the current study differ from other studies that have investigated relationships between emotion-relevant behaviors and longevity or mortality and may account for the strength of the relationship observed in the current study: the population sample and the technique used to measure emotion.
Our findings are compatible with recent longitudinal studies that suggest that optimism is associated with longer life (Maruta et al., 2000; Peterson et al., 1998), but incompatible with another study indicating that cheerfulness measured in early life was not associated with longer survival (Friedman, 1999). In the latter study, the investigators reported that there were behaviors related to risk and substance abuse in late-life activities of the more cheerful participants that may account for their findings (Friedman, 1999).
These types of behaviors should be less of an issue in our study of Catholic sisters given the relative homogeneity of their adult lifestyles and environments.
https://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/psp805804.pdf
ending on beauty:
Ever thine, ever mine, ever ours,
signs Beethoven to his beloved,
who pursued love through the darkness
despite not having much light in his path.
Ever broken, ever dead, ever elsewhere,
he drinks red wine to beat frustration in passion,
you can’t usurp love, doubt awaits you,
Eros the Greek god of love trades in advice.
Ever true, ever lonely, ever kneel in drunkenness,
your kiss descends upon my memory
of you in my room, spilling across my skin
before you left a crevice in my heart.
~ Imelda O’Reilly, from A Poem for Beethoven — His Love for Countess Giuletta Guicciardi
Ezra Pound in Venice, 1963
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