I went to
My fatherland, you are like health:
only he knows your worth, who has lost you
-- if you pardon this clumsy translation of Mickiewicz’s famous lines (this is my own version; I am yet to see a satisfying translation).
I lived near Grójecka Street and Plac Narutowicza. I loved to take the Express C bus down Jerusalem Avenue (Aleje Jerozolimskie), even though it passed in front of the House of the Party. I was fascinated by the energy of the great city, enchanted by its night glimmers. I never loved Warsaw more than the year before I left.
Below is an early poem of mine about those enchanted bus rides -- never mind being chilled from winter sleet. I didn't want to become a woman; I wanted to stay me, a young girl riding the bus through downtown Warsaw at night.
Nightcity: Sirens
Women shimmer fluorescent
in shop windows, signs
tremble like thin ice
over cafés and bars –
narrow skirts, tight blouses
serving up their breasts,
serving up their breasts,
women lean toward men
lighting their cigarettes;
dusky voices uncoil
from lipstick and smoke.
I still cross myself
when passing a church,
but I want the bell of darkness
above the unfinished
arc of streetlights,
arc of streetlights,
the electric hues
hiving in wet asphalt.
Chilled in winter sleet,
I can’t wait to ride
on the express C bus
through downtown
at night: thin moons
of my breath on the pane,
a slippery algebra of lights.
The accordion doors
swoosh open and shut with a sigh;
on the radio, a song of those years:
The Dancing Eurydices.
Eurydices dance in hell,
the lights flow like destinies;
soon I will be a woman,
a Siren or a Eurydice –
multiplied, spiraled with neon,
arriving in metal and mirrors –
though the shivering signs
keep no promises,
and the city shuffles its buildings
like a pack of cards.
~ Oriana
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